Thursday, July 30, 2015

Well, Isn't THAT a fine HOW-Do-You-Do?

Well, what a lovely way to meet Micky, my new neighbour fellow.

You may notice this is being written at 3:30 in the fucking AM. Sonofabitch!

So I get to sleep about 1-ish.
Next thing I know I am being woken up by (ok, the first time my own snort woke me up)- but after that it was banging, clunking and dragging sounds. Repeated and un-ignorable.

Wow. It was emanating from behind the wall against my bed.From the newly vacated appt. At 3:30AM. The EMPTY appt.


So I  dress and somewhat de-scarify my hair (only part-way, some crazy helps when you are about to confront a possible drunk/themselves crazy/or high robber or vandal in the act) and listen outside the empty appt's door.

Yup. Inside it sounds like a bear is wiping the floor with an errant (and now very limp) hiker. And banging up against every wall and appliance in there.

I knock.Nothing.I knock again.Nothing. (by nothing I mean the noise continued unabated). Knock.Noise.Knock.Noise.Knock......for about what seemed like ten minutes. 


A couple times the bear seemed to stop and walk over as if to peer through the peep hole. Then the noise just continued.

I blocked the peep hole with my finger and knocked.Noise.Knock.Noise........and then..........

I startle the SHIT out of a twenty-something hipster-ish young man called "Micky" who had been unpacking heavy,noisy things in his new appt while blasting tunes in his ears via earphones.

I swear he almost peed his pants.

And that's how I met my new neighbour, Micky.

PS. He seemed sincere and earnest in his inconsiderateness at noisily unpacking at such a STUPID,STUPID time after getting off work. So I was nice as I explained how noise travels through walls. (He was still trying to catch his breath from his fright).

         ***STRIKE ONE, MICKY...STRIKE ONE.***
*but almost.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

My Alley: everything but the kitchen sink.
Unless you count that kitchen sink last year.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

NO Air Conditioner? NO PROBLEM!

-At least, that is what numerous websites claim. After seeing a news story about this on our local station, I Googled several How-To’s and set about constructing this elegant creature.
-So according to numerous sources, you can assemble this with either, 8 British pounds, $20, or $30 (our updated Canadian source).

Real Sandra Cost? $46. No matter, it was worth it just for the fun of cutting styrofoam with a kitchen knife-
then chasing those tiny foam particles around with a kleenex, which caused them to become electrically charged and literally flee from my approaching hand. 
Again, Weeeeeeeeeeee!

But I digress: you fill the chest up with frozen water bottles or ice packs, and it sends out COOLED air for many hours. I didn’t have enough frozen packs to make it a STELLAR success, but the air WAS cooler if I sat close by. 
I think.
Because then the inelegance of this frankencreature would be justified.
In any case, it looks like something the crazy old man hoarder down the street would make. Not bad.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

"Roomy 40 sq. ft Pied a Terre. Breezy ocean view.
Open concept layout- everything within easy reach."

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Behold! Gastown's favorite summertime activity: Drug-dealing.
Dear buyer-don't let the friendly arm fool you; drug-dealers are NOT your friend. Profit from disease is not cool.
(Are you listening, Big Pharma??)

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Deserted Construction Site
-evokes memories of reading Stephen King horror novels.